Probably not a regular thing, but who knows?
I’m attempting to be more organized about coming off the burn out. It’s difficult, because the burn out was partly about over reliance on organization and will power.
Last week’s goal (about which I told no one) was to stop triggering myself constantly. I’ll give myself a C+ on that one. I did OK, but “needs improvement”. The triggers have been partially about the ongoing political situation in the US, but mostly personal things. The political stuff I can really just ignore and the world won’t end (probably). The personal stuff has mostly been going over past experiences, which was initially a healing and empowering activity, but is no longer. It’s time to step away from all that and deal with immediate issues.
This week’s goal is to make more proactive decisions. Or, really, just do something. Anything. Like this blog post. Or getting some exercise wouldn’t hurt. Now that I’ve calmed down a bit it’s time to get something done; tamp down the second-guessing and paranoia. Stop being reactive.
At one point I was ver prolific creatively, and I’d like to get back to that. And to be enthusiastic about it again, rather than feeling like it’s an obligation or something I should do.
Example: I have a half-finished, self-indulgent creative-rant post that I should actually put on here. When I was younger I used to write pseudo-poetry; a kind of lyrical prose where you don’t follow any rules. This is that. I should post it, because why not? Isn’t that the point?
I replied to a question on one of the ASD support forums today. I don’t do this much because I inherently doubt the relevance and reality of my experience. Probably something I should overcome. Plus it takes me too long to write anything.
So… let’s see if I can actually get some things done. They don’t have to be big and they don’t have to be genius. Another C+ would be a passing grade.